The Searchlight of Insight

Good-bye 122!

The day has finally arrived when we’ll move out of our building after ten years. I remember when we first moved into 122 ten years ago. Tess was in Canada and pregnant with Sebastian. I moved us in and the first thing I did was snap a picture of the sunset then post it to our web site. This was pre-Facebook and blogs weren't big back then. Fitting, I thought, that as I cleared out of our flat this past week I'd snap this final picture of a 122 sunset. For the last two years we lived in a larger 122 flat with gorgeous views such as this one. We didn't really take advantage of those views enough, which struck me during we a we enjoyed bbq on the balcony a few weeks ago.

Regardless, we had many, many great times at 122, where I lived longer than anywhere else with the exception of my childhood home where I grew-up. One spot to remember is the one pictured at left. The last weekend in March 2001, Tess called from Canada. It was morning in Hong Kong and late in Toronto. Our flat was full of Chinese-speaking only contractors,  painting and fixing the place for us to occupy. They were drilling and making a huge racket. When Tess phoned I couldn’t hear her so I went outside the backdoor of the flat. I stood in the spot pictured at left, looking down on the playground through the window. Right there on the phone, Tess read me a poem she wrote, that concluded with her telling me that she was pregnant. I was ecstatic and tried to communicate the news to the Chinese workers. I had to tell someone! They thought I was truly crazy, of course, as I charaded various signs including having a big tummy. Eventually one of them figured out what I was trying to communicate. “Awwhaw, you going to be daddy!” They were happy for me.

Thank you to all our friends at 122 for ten great years. You are a wonderful community.

Dumaguete Guitar Man

I am sitting in the Dumaguete airport after spending four days here with ICM. (I attended the annual budget/strategy meetings and assisted with conducting a new leadership training program.) The airport is small and intimate. There is a Guitar Man strumming slow songs. I suspect he might be blind. I just had one of those bizarre-trapped-in-time-in-the- middle of nowhere moments when The Guitar Man played an instrumental version of a distantly familiar song. I searched my memory to finally place it: I Don't Want To Talk About It by Rod Stewart. I particularly love this song. First, it's a great song. Second, the week before Rod Stewart played at Albert Hall, one of his managers discovered Amy Belle busking on the streets. Within one week Amy sang with Rod Stewart at the Albert Hall concert. Below is a You Tube video of that performance.

I have had many moments like this Asia in some of the most remote places possible. I remember one night sharing with an India Leader in Calcutta about a book "The Art & Science of Success" by Edward DeBono. A great book but not that easy to find. About 10 pm we called it a night. Remarkably as we stood at the lift, I noticed a bookstore open at the far end of the lobby. Sure enough, offered up on a shelf was a copy of "The Art & Science of Success."

Back to the blind Guitar Man. After placing the song I really wanted to hear I again. As I approached him I conspicuously placed a chunk of cash in his little collection box and then asked, "Was that a Rod Stewart song you just played?" I asked.

"Pardon me, sir?"

"Was that a Rod Stewart song you just played?" I repeated, "It was great version and I'd love to hear it again. Was it Rod Stewart?"

"No sir..." he said quietly.

Regardless, The Guitar Man serenaded on and passengers contributed heftily to his box as they departed for the next legs of their journeys.

Inspiration Point

There's a change afoot in our household. Eight days ago I resigned from my job. I have been there a year and believe that it has not been a very good fit. The need for travel is intense, and with the HQ being on the US East Coast, the demands for late night calls very high. I could have discussed reducing these two stressors, but then I would have been a bottleneck in the name of progress. There were other factors that contributed to my deciding to leave, but the main ones were mixed up priorities and not being able to focus on the family. My last day is June 23rd. A few days later we head back to Canada for the summer. We return the first week in August. Shortly thereafter I will begin work in a similar capacity in another company, still based in Hong Kong.

Spiritually, I laboured forever over joining my current company, concerned that I be following God's will. Similarly, I deliberated this departure for quite some time. I still haven't figured out if spiritually I made a wrong turn or a right turn a year ago. A friend of mine gave me some very good advice when he said, "In many ways this is a petty decision. It's really all about what you're doing with where God places you, not so much where you think you should be or not be." Therefore, I am on the road again. Stay tuned for more details in the coming months. Speaking of being on the road ~ it's officially cottage season in Canada! We'll be staying at Fintry for several weeks this summer. In honour of the season officially opening I have posted a picture of Sebastian from a few weeks ago... he's tubing at about 25 knots in this picture. To learn more about Canada's cottage season, be sure to stop by my sister's blog at Cottage Life Magazine.

The Miniature Earth

Farewell my friends...

Okay, so before the handful of you who read my blog think I am about to stop blogging, I am not saying farewell to you, I am saying farewell to my work colleagues at Juniper Networks. May4th was my last day of work. I am on leave until May 31st and then start at another technology company as head of APAC HR on June 1. Still based in Hong Kong. I worked at Juniper for four+ years and it really is quite a special company... but it was also time to leave. (To regular viewers, this was the cryptic blog I posted about six weeks ago!) In the last few weeks I gathered up some of the pictures of my time at Juniper to put together the accompanying farewell message for my colleagues. Hopefully they will visit to watch it with fond memories of working together. Despite opportunity and inspiring challenges ahead, it is still hard to leave.

Bittersweet Tears & Rain

God's love takes us on journeys we do not wish to go;
makes us travel by roads we do not wish to use;
to take us to places we never wish to leave.
- Ashley Null

I am writing from a plane - on my way back to Hong Kong from the US - and regular readers will know what that means. Flood gates wide open, creativity unlocked, words flowing like a river. I've also spent most of today pretty busted up. A little hard since I lead a large portion of the meetings all Friday... in fact most of the week. I did so with emotions bubbling up from within. Today was a tough, tough day. Bittersweet and of course to the stoic type, those non-F on the MBTI scale, even more of a challenge when this unknown F has you by the throat. My dear friend and colleague Paul, HE is a big F. If he wakes up to find me like this, everyone will be wondering about 'the guys' in 14H & 14K!

The struggle within is professional. There is a sea change underway in my life. The tide is going out and a few days ago I gave notice at my company. I've known for a while that there would come a point in my current role - which is changing to help scale the company - when I'd say "this isn't the right thing for me." That time has come. But my friends, this is not a casual move for me. Never before in my life have I devoted as much prayer, sought spiritual guidance nor surrendered myself to what I perceived as God's will in my life. This was a divine decision in the business world.

One might say it's easy to experience God's grace in a church environment or context. I mean really, being of service while working with other Christians for the better good of the world? It's a safe, relatively easy place to access joy. But outside that environment, accessing and surrendering to God's will and direction is much more challenging. We fight against our normal human beingness all the time and wish that God would just give us the answer.

In 1982 I made a wrong turn when I was called by God. As much as I knew or suspected what I was turning away from, I mostly pretended none of it was a real calling. Twenty-two years later on February 23, 2004 when the triplets were born 14 weeks premature, I knew on that morning the personal, spiritual implications of that day: the Lord was disciplining me back on course. Since then I've fought with discerning the proper course for myself. Looking back now, I can see the last four years being a grand test of maturation. Therefore, about four months ago when a phone call came in and a seed planted in my business world, I went to work focusing my spiritual attention on what this seed might grow into from a spiritual perspective. Every move I made was covered in prayer. Any area where I had confusion, I sought spiritual guidance. Tess provided a lot of clarity in terms of keeping me on track when the human being urge tried to take over the spiritual urge.

I remember one day I took annual leave for the final set of interviews. That day, there must have been 35 intercessors around the world covering me and the specific geographic location in spiritual prayer and protection. I walked away from those interviews with one message from God: "if you come here you have professional HR work to do and a lot of it. That's what's waiting for you." But no personal preference from Him. No peace, no direction, no bolt of lightening.

"Argh, just give me the answer!" I creid out.

"NO... you didn't accept the last answer in 1982, why should I tell you now?" The whole process was very Calvinistic as I continued to focus my spiritual attention on this seed. Then BINGO a few days later the fog cleared and the peace came in like a warm wind releasing sailors from a becalmed prison. I immediately wrote a letter expressing my commitment to the role. The next morning the offer came in.

Flash forward to this week, to today even, when I started the process of saying good-bye to colleagues - really, really good, talented people - who have seen me through thick and thin. Wow, it hurt. Oh my gosh it hurt. I turned again to the Lord, "why, why the pain. That wasn't part of the original calculation?"

"First, my grace is sufficient for you - you'll survive - and second, you would have calculated incorrectly had I permitted you to experience these emotions."

On so on that note - as I left the office in the US office for the last time - I got it. I had discerned God's will outside the context of the typical church environment. In that moment the tears of sadness turned to tears of overwhelming peace and grace. Somehow amidst the complexity of my paralysis of analysis - kids make these things much simpler, I should have just asked Sebastian what to do - I'd managed to be obedient to God's will, as if a test. That's always a great thing to experience. It's also what I'm supposed to be doing right now, maturing myself as a Christian. Right?

"That's correct, Charles."

Grace... overwhelming at times. I am clear, though, I am being sent to a place where my gifts will be put to good use, tested, developed and sharpened. Along the way God rewards, too. In this case I'm being sent to a place I am very excited and anxious to go. The best part is knowing I am on the right path - lots of peace there - and maybe someday God will bring me full circle back to 1982. And I probably won't want to leave.

So I sail on... cutting through the current of humanbeingness. Yes, by the way, Maureen is correct. In the middle of all this I gave up food for Lent... 45 days of natural lemon juice. Not a single bite of food other than two communions. The lessons of that fast are still bearing fruit and I am confident will continue to do so for a long time to come. Right now I am present to a very grounded peace in my life.

Ebony & Shrine

Wednesday early evening in Bangalore and my colleague (Paul) and I are about to head back to Hong Kong on the red-eye through Singapore. We leave Bangalore at 11:15 PM, arriving into Hong Kong early afternoon on Thursday. Bangalore is the usual hive of activity this week - signs of tech companies expanding everywhere. Traffic and noise worse than ever as consumers enjoy the fruits of their labour with new cars and motorcycles.

At lunch we took the India HR team (about 12 of us in total) out to lunch at a restaurant called "Ebony" that has a terrific view. The restaurant is on the 13th floor of one of the tallest buildings in the city. As I got in the elevator it occurred to me that I came to this restaurant for the first time in 1998. Since then I have been back a number of times, including on my last visit to Bangalore in December 2006. I had a little melancholy moment but don't worry, it passed. The above picture is of (from left) Paul, Sarita, me and Neela. That's Bangalore behind us.

After lunch the four of us visited a very famous Bangalore church called the "Infant Jesus Church." This is a new structure that recently replaced an older, ad hoc church. More importantly, next to this church is the Infant Jesus Shrine, known far and wide for the miracles emanating in the lives of people who pray there. This is where Uday lit the candles for the triplets when they were only a few days old and had many struggles ahead of them. Paul and I lit candles, I took some time to pray and left a donation in the offering. Then it was back to the office for more afternoon meetings. In another hour we will head to the airport. The other pictures here are from the Infant Jesus Shrine. See you back in Hong Kong!

China this week...

I am in China this week. I flew up from Hong Kong to Shanghai on Tuesday. Tonight (Wednesday) I flew to Beijing where I'll spend two days before returning to Hong Kong on Friday night. China continues to amaze me. The pace of development is heart-stopping and everytime I visit China more changes. The attached picture is the basement of what will soon be one of the world's tallest buildings. You'll see lots of other buildings in the background. This is the Pudong area of Shanghai. When I first visited here in 1996, the area was one giant construction site and I can't remember there being one building over five stories high.

The real shocker of this trip was Beijing. I stepped off the airplane to be greeted by the most atrocious air pollution I've ever experienced. As I inhaled, I could feel the air grazing my lungs and throat like a light sandpaper... and burning my eyes, too. It was truly horrible. At the conference I attended this week in Shanghai, there was much discussion and concern about China's pollution - reportedly, the current air pollution particulate levels in Beijing are THREE TIMES the maximum amount that the WHO says adult humans can tolerate. I can't wait to go home to clean Hong Kong. Hah!

Colts take Bears, Jasper starts school, sniff

Considering I pay attention to American football once a year for only a few days, I shouldn't be too worried about the Colts' Superbowl win and frankly, I'm not. My personal preference would have been a Bears' victory since I love Chicago for a host of reasons. First, several years ago a former colleague and I (after a fabulous dinner with other colleagues) played a gorgeous grand piano in The Ballroom of the original Hilton until the wee hours of the morning. Eventually security kicked us out. Second, being a Kellogg graduate, I favour the Bears. (Jasper, at left, plays with a football in November 2005.)

To be honest, when I was younger I loved football so much I had to ignore the sport. I kid you not. Whenever I watched a football game - live or on TV - I dreamt about football for weeks and often wanted to play on the high school team. Thanks to the regular supply of football-related spinal injuries floating through Toronto hospitals, that dream never came to fruition.

Today as the Superbowl roared on, some buds of mine watched the game at a friend's flat. The rest of us were at work. I sent them text messages like "GO BEARS" while the game was still close. I have to say, though, Kelvin Hayden certainly earned his paycheck after a 56 yard interception that returned a touchdown, putting the Colts way out in front! Talk about buying insurance ... the Bears never recovered. I receded from sending text messages after that but cast a watchful eye to the online coverage.

Saturday evening Tess returned from her US business trip with a funny story about the days leading up to the Superbowl. While she was in transit in Chicago lots of people were naturally flying from Chicago to Indianapolis for The Game. Whenever the attendants announced an Indianapolis-bound flight they'd end off with, "and on this flight to Indianapolis passengers will be given a free box of tissue because after Sunday, you'll need it." Tess' return was met with much cheerleading, with the kids handing out an ample supply of hugs, kisses and we missed you's! (Left, the kids enjoy a video together after welcoming Tess home.)

Meanwhile, Team Caldwell had a day of firsts, too... (the Superbowl was a game of firsts... the first rainy Super Bowl - and one of the messiest with lots of wet and mud - the first time an opening kickoff was run back for a touchdown, the first time the Colts won a Superbowl title since the 1970 season) ... today our touchdown was Jasper's first day of school. The crowds cheered, the crowds cried, while Jasper confidently yet haphazardly waltzed his was into education endzone with Sebastian playing defence. (Left, Sebastian & Jasper pose together in their SWCK smocks before leaving for school.)

As the morning's events unfolded I had several flashbacks, thinking of the ground we'd taken in the past three years with the triplets' upcoming Feb 23rd birthday. Technically, Small World Christian Kindergarten's entry gate is three years old. Jasper is coming in just ahead of the line. The girls are clipping his heals with a March 1 start date.

I also had a flash forward as I realised this was the start of Jasper's formal education. Perhaps some day twenty years down the road - maybe around another momentous education event such as graduation - I'll look back on this day to remember when JJ first began school. I'll remember that it was a gorgeous sunny and clear day in Hong Kong with hardly any pollution. A light breeze tickled the flag flying atop The Governor's House (now the Chief Executive's home). As we drove to Small World we passed Union Church to see our new pastor's wife, Holly, watching the world go by. We waved and smiled. Many changes for many people, not just for Jasper. As so many of us enter a new season in our lives we can't help but feel the sense of anticipation, excitement and accomplishment of what's next, just like the Colts and Jasper probably feel today.

Under Singapore law...

After the Christmas Cantata I was in Hong Kong for 2.5 days (Monday, Tuesday and half of Wednesday.) Wednesday at noon Sebastian's class had a Christmas play. Of course, I recorded the whole thing and over the hols will You Tube a mini-production of the event. The whole thing was very sweet. I forgot to mention that after the Sunday Christmas Cantata I preached that evening at the 6 PM service at Union Church. Does anyone want to read the sermon? Should I post it here?

After Seb's Christmas play I was off on another business trip... Hong Kong -> Bangkok -> Mumbai -> Bangalore -> Delhi -> Singapore -> Hong Kong. I arrived back on Monday night. I am a bit disoriented right now with jet lag and general fatigue so I am not sure when that was... I think two nights ago. Is this Wednesday? Answer: yes, midnight conf call tonight, it's Wednesday. I am happy to be back home and even happier to be entering the Christmas season. This is when people in Hong Kong get caught-up on work. Ooops, now I can't post the sermon. Point is: the quiet days over the next one to two weeks allow for clearing off desks, getting caught-up on e-mails (over 4000 at last count) and sleep. The pace will also allow for more family time.

What I don't like about being back in Hong Kong is the reminder of another incident from right before I left - our car broke down... badly... in the middle of rush hour traffic with Lita, De and the triplets inside. The Achilles Heel of the Renault is the transmission and the entire thing went to the tune of HK$ 30,000. (About US$ 4,000.) We get the car back on Thursday, upon which I will write a cheque, compartmentalise and move on. But it still hurts... alot.

Meanwhile, next month is the 16 year anniversary of my first ever trip (1990) to Asia. I recall going through Singapore back then and reading the drug warning on the Immigration form.  The same drug warning is there today.