Pause & reflect...

“Show me, O LORD, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man's life is but a breath. Selah” Psalm 39: 4 – 5

Psalm 39 was a part of The Bible that inspired Sela’s name, except we obviously dropped the “h!” The word is spread throughout the Psalms and yet, interestingly, the literal meaning has been lost. Some believe it is a direction to pause and reflect. Theologians have studied the Psalms word “Selah” at length. Today I searched for scripture pointing to the fleeting nature of life to be pointed to Selah. Pause and reflect.

When the triplets were in the hospital almost five years ago, many people prayed for them, including the amah community in our building. They prayed much more than we will probably ever know. When the triplets came home the first year was fragile. One of the joys of each day, though, was when a handful of the amahs in our building would come to give the triplets their last bottle of the day. The lights would be dim, everyone spoke in hushed whispers… it was “quiet time” and often when Tess and I could spend time reading with Sebastian before he went to bed. One such helper was Editha, who has lived in our building almost as long as us. Editha has always been willing to help in anyway possible. Editha helped teach Marianne how to cook more dishes last summer. Editha's daughter worked with us for a short period during the transition from Lita & De to Gary & Marianne. Whenever Editha was on the playground with the children she cared for she was always cheerful, pleasant and playful with our own children. Editha has been an incredible friend and support to our family and Gary, Marianne, Lita, De & Mila.

Last night, Editha was coming home from Chi Fu with a friend. It was dark. They got off the mini bus and started to cross Pokfulam Road, a very busy fast-moving street. Standing on the centerline in the middle of the road they checked for traffic. Editha’s friend saw the motorcycle approaching and yelled "Stop!" Evidently Editha didn’t see the vehicle or hear her friend. She stepped out, was hit by the motorcycle and thrown 20 meters down the road. She was taken to Queen Mary Hospital and operated on for several hours. Editha woke up briefly this morning and everyone was relieved. Later in the afternoon Katie (Editha’s employer) received a call from the doctors saying that Editha was on life support. She is expected to die in the next 24 hours. Editha’s daughter and son-in-law are with her. Her husband and youngest son are on their way to Hong Kong from the Philippines.

Tonight when I got home from work we sat down with the kids to explain the situation. The triplets didn’t really understand but Sebastian did, a bit, and he was sad.  Each one of us prayed for Editha – the triplets prayed that Editha would get better. Tess and I prayed that the family would be comforted and for a miraculous healing. Sebastian prayed about Jesus being with Editha. Then we once again reminded them that vehicles are dangerous and that this is why we (1) wear seat belts (2) look both ways when crossing the road (3) don’t play next to a road (4) concentrate and pay attention when crossing the road and (4) hold an adults hand when crossing the road.

As the kids headed to bed, Tess and I went to the ICU to visit Editha. Obviously she is in a coma, one that she will never awaken barring a miracle. We thanked her for being such a loving, supportive friend. We prayed over her and read encouraging scripture. There were other friends at her bedside, including one of the security guards from our building and we were touched to see her.

Tess is weary and now in bed. We are saddened by this situation that happened in the blink of an eye. We have many fond memories of Editha, including the accompanying pictures from Christmas Day 2004 when Tess & I made breakfast for Lita, Mila, Editha and some of their friends. We anticipate the next few days when the family will have the most impossible decision to make, one that in the end seems inevitable.

"Turn Your gaze away from me, that I may smile again Before I depart and am no more."Psalm 39:13

Selah

Aftermath: Editha was pronounced dead less than 24 hours later at 4:19 pm Hong Kong time.

Comments

[Carol]

Oh Charles, thank you for your eloquent and moving tribute to Editha and I too share your prayers for comfort for her family and a miracle. Fleeting life - this has been a theme resonating through my thoughts this past few weeks. A wonderful reminder to pause and reflect instead of rushing on by.

xo Carol

[Lala]

I'm sorry your community is facing such sadness after this senseless accident.

[elaine d]

So sorry to hear such sad news. We'll be praying for Editha & her family.

[Cat]

So sorry to hear this!

[Mo aka Maureen aka Grandmother aka Mum]

Oh Charles. Thank you so much for writing this lovely blog about Editha. My heart aches as she is such a part of the fabric of your building and her loving care of not only her 'own children' but yours as well is a fond memory. My love and prayers for Editha, all of 122 and Editha's family.

M xox

[Boulder]

Words fail me right now, but I did want to say how lovely and loving I think it is that you went and spent time with Editha, because it seems to be just the thing she would have done, and just the thing I would have wanted for my family member - to know that she was loved and not alone.

[Lucy Moran]

Thanks so much Charles,
Love to you all, Lucy & Stu

[lita]

Thank you so much. That was a nice thing to say to a dear friend of mine. She will be miss. I will treasure the memories we had together. Thank you for bieng nice to all the amah's in 122.
god bless Editha and her family.

love,
lita

[Louise M]

There are things we don't want to happen but have to accept; truths we don't want to know but have to learn; people we can't live without but have to let go

You may not think the world needed you, but it did. For you were unique: like no one that has ever been before or will come after. No one can speak with your voice; say your piece; smile your smile; or shine your light. No one can take your place for it was yours alone to fill. Because you are not here to shine your light, who knows how many travellers will lose their way as they try to pass by your empty place in the darkness.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.

This was my memoriam for my son on his 3rd Angle day and after your beautiful tribute to Edith and her unfortunate death, I thought it was fitting to send to you and Tess. Please pass on my condolences to her family.

[Charmaine Graham]

It sounds as if Edith was truly loved and appreciated by your community, friends and family. Her death is so shocking for everyone I am sure, and I know she will be missed. Charmaine

[lime]

i am so very sorry for such a loss. what a beautiful, sunny smile she had in that picture. i pray her family and dear friends will find comfort in these sad days. hugs.

[Carmen and Modesto Alonso]

We're the parents of Dora Tartaglia, who employed Editha for a few years. We met this wonderful human being when we visited our daughter about five years ago and were greatly impressed by the warmth and caring she displayed towards us, Dora and her family and two other of our daughters who visited their sister in Hong Kong. We knew her less than two months but she's lived in our memories ever since. When we returned to the States we exchanged letters with her more than once and in her last one she wrote: "You remind me of my parents, always looking to solve my problems. I'll care for Dora, Sofia and Christian in your absence".

We're enormously saddened by her death. Most painful is to know that a life that was almost totally filled with generosity and sacrifice has suddenly and prematurely ended. Upon developments like this one we have to pause and reflect about our values.

It seems to us that life would be but a series of connected but mostly empty moments if it were not for our belief in a Supreme Being who has designs on the creatures He allows to populate His creation. In other words, there must be reasons why such tragedies happen every day, far more numerous than we can imagine. We obviously can't fathom such reasons and so must remain humble in our ignorance.

I cried, something very rare in me, when I read the news in a message from Dora. We want to express to Editha's family our deepest felt condolences and tell them how highly we thought of her. If some of the readers of this note can relay these thoughts to them we'll be very grateful.

We've already prayed to God that Editha's soul be allowed to join Him in eternal peace and hope that her family receive a measure of acceptance.

Carmen and Modesto Alonso

[Sonia]

Tess and Charles, I am so sorry for the loss of such a wonderful lady, friend and caretaker in your community. I am praying for Editha, her family and her many friends.

Sonia

[Dora Alonso Tartaglia]

Tess & Charles,
Thank you for sharing this blog, a small tribute to Editha. She lived with us for almost 4 years and will forever be part of our happiest memories. She was one of those special people you meet if you are lucky, where unconditional giving was an intrinsic part of her nature; a true angel who couldn't help but show her love and affection for everyone. We will always keep her in our hearts and our prayers go out to her family whose loss is immeasurable.
Dora, Robert, Sofia & Christian Tartaglia

[Super B's Mom]

So sorry to hear of the loss of such a dear friend.

[Evie]

I am very sorry to hear about the loss, and wish courage and strength to Editha's family and friends.

[Penny]

I am so sorry Charles. My thoughts are with you and your children and Editha's family and friends.