The Searchlight of Insight

A Special Moment

On Saturday morning I attended a prayer meeting at Union Church – a long but truly worthwhile session. The point of this story is not to share about the prayer meeting, but about what happened beforehand. Recently the church sanctuary received its annual touch-up, re-paint, new TV screens. Turns out there is a small window hidden at the very front of the sanctuary. I am not sure but I suspect an opaque curtain has covered it for years. The curtain allows a little light in but nothing striking. During the touch-up someone drew back the curtain. Net result… I was one of the first to arrive at the church early Saturday morning. Venturing into the sanctuary I discovered an intensity I’d never before seen on the Bible near the front. I couldn’t figure out what was going on. Alone, I moved forward, curious and mesmerised, until face to face with the Bible.  Beaming down was an intense sunlight illuminating The Book in a way I could never describe appropriately.

Suddenly from behind, and above, came a voice, “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Chris Yorks, our Music Director, who I think discovered the perpetrating curtain, had watched me from the sanctuary balcony. We marvelled at the scene and the fact that long ago – really long ago – someone put a window in that exact spot to capture the sun on the Bible each morning. (When I returned later to capture a picture the sun had moved but I think you'll still get the idea.)

For insomnia: move to the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off

Tess might be dreaming of divorce but I am not dreaming at all because I am not sleeping. The attached chart(s) shows a typical night’s sleep for me, as illustrated/tracked by Sleep Cycle on my iPhone.  For some strange reason, since moving into our new flat, I have not been able to sleep. This has been going on for a few months now so needless to say I am getting pretty tired. A typical night I fall asleep rather quickly, only to wake-up about 90 minutes later. I will be restless for about an hour, fall asleep, and then awaken a while later for another hour of restlessness. Net effect: 4 hours and 21 minutes of sleep.

During the last few months I have cutback on coffee, since my new employer actually doesn’t provide coffee at head office. Therefore, I have a cup in the morning, finished on the way to work, a cup mid-morning from Pacific Coffee Company and maybe another cup at lunch or early afternoon. Typically I don’t drink coffee after 2 PM. (My previous employer had an awesome coffee machine and it was a real challenge staying away from it!) I have also lost about 4 – 5 kgs during the summer, started exercising again and cut out soft drinks. Since July 23rd I have had less than one can of Orange Fanta and only a few sips of Coke. I am also eating healthier – in the morning I have cut sugar out of my cereal, instead adding yoghurt. I am making a conscious effort to eat less junk, buying fresh fruit from a terrific fruit stand near work. Finally, I have cut back on lunch: I now eat half a sandwich instead of a whole sandwich, supplementing lunch with a salad of some sort and fruit. I am still not sleeping very well.

Yes, I saw a doctor and he said to me, “Anything I prescribe, you will only get addicted to.”  I have talked with friends about the East/West and North/South theory. I have tried running and exercising at night. I have eaten many bananas at night (they contain melatonin, in case you didn’t know) only resulting in more hair on the back of my neck and hands: I am still very, very restless each night.

Some people say that God wakes you to pray for people. I tried praying and that helped quite a bit. But finally last night I was so fed-up that I got up at 4:45 AM and stayed awake. This is my new strategy and I will let you know how it goes. Tonight if I wake-up... I am just going to get up.

Meanwhile, any suggestions?

Is shopping bad for Jasper's health?

Moving flats revealed a boat load of unused gift certificates (GCs) collected over the last two to three years. Of late these vouchers have made their way into a little cash box that the kids refer to as "The Bank of Dad" or "Dad's Bank." (Sorry Dad and Blake, looks like there's a new institution on the block but I doubt you'll complain and I am sure at some point it will need underwriters.)

Inside this box we keep the kids' Octopus cards, tooth fairy money and gift certificates. Tess and my track record of using coupons isn't great. It's the expiry date that we hate. We like saving money and like to tuck the gift certificates away for future use. However, that's problematic. Long ago, the year the triplets were born, I gave Tess a huge spa treatment (read HK$3,000) for Mother's Day, good for three months. The expiry came and went. I convinced the spa place to extend the expiry by a month. Tess went in two weeks later and they'd gone out of business. The same year we received a bunch of gift certificates to Toys R Us. We missed the expiry date again but managed to convince Toys R Us to honour them shortly after the expiry.

Good thing then, that we moved. We found almost HK$1,000 in Dymocks Bookstore gift certificates and over $2,500 in H&M. You might wonder where all of these come from... think of four kids, two years, fifteen people/party and the math is 4 X 2 X 15 = 90 kids. Many of these kids generously give gift certificates as presents. I checked all the coupons I could online to figure out their status then marched out with the triplets on a major shopping spree. (This was actually all a ploy to get the triplets out of the house so Seb could watch Harry Potter 3 with Tess and a friend now that Seb's read the third HP book.) Just as we left I asked Tess, "Are you sure you trust me to buy $2,500 in colour coordinated clothes for the girls?" Tess had a very politically correct answer.

Upon arriving at H&M, we agreed the girls would shop first. Most of the GCs were for the girls so they had the bulk of the shop to complete. This drove Jasper crazy. Personally, I am not a shopper and hate lounging. In fact, medical studies prove shopping is bad for men. I felt for Jasper as he waited and waited and waited for the girls to make decisions about what clothes they wanted. But at least I knew Jasper was too young to have a heart attack. At one point I even said, "Get used to it Jasper. Shopping is something girls love to do and it's part of your future landscape, my friend."

Finally it was JJ's turn to buy clothes. Short process. Jasper did decide, though, that he wanted a cool new check look, pictured above. We ended up using all the GCs then had a lovely lunch at the Spaghetti House.

Next was Dymocks where some of the GCs had expired. There was NO fuss from Dymocks who still honoured the GCs. Jasper picked some books in a few minutes, the girls took forever. Argh! Last we visited Clinique where I bought a new cologne JJ and I discovered a few weeks ago: Happy for Men. (The day we found it, Jasper who was in a very grumpy mood, said after having a bit sprayed on him: "I know why you want me to have this, because it will make me happy!"  Tess says Happy suits me. This is a milestone as most of the time we don't agree on cologne tastes except the three that I already have and she LOVES. (Now you're thinking to yourselves, "Charles, you're not making sense.") The Clinique staff gave the triplets a few samples. This made JJ's day because he lost the sample given to him from a few weeks ago. Overall we had a great afternoon and Tess gave me a "pass" on most of the items we bought.

Thank you to everyone who gave us gift certificates during the last few years. I assure you they were put to very good use, even the ones that might have slipped by the expiry thanks to the kind staff at Dymocks!

I am sure Carys is sorry...

Another Mean Daddy Award handed out today. Tess was taking a much-deserved nap and Sebastian was determined to make his debut into filmmaking. The kids and I planned on sneaking out to work on Sebastian’s project. (We have finished production and I now have the task of editing the video!) The boys’ room tidy, swimming suits packed for our final destination (the ABC for a swim and dinner) but the girls weren’t quite ready. Boys headed downstairs to play. I was trying to get the girls ready and asked them to clean up their room. Carys was walking around with a skipping rope. I asked her once to please put it away. She didn’t. Asked her a second time to please put it away. She didn’t. Asked her a third time to please put it away. She didn’t. After the third time I asked, I heard a yelp from the girls’ room followed by Sela howling. Upon investigation, I discovered Carys had smacked Sela with one of the handles at end of the skipping rope. By this point Carys was in tears. I was truly frustrated by this point and dangled dessert. I sat down with Carys explaining that she had to get a handle on her wicked side. I asked her if she knew what I was talking about and she nodded wildly in agreement. I explained that she'd lost the privilege of dessert for the day. Carys put the skipping rope away. The girls finished tidying their room and Sela presented me with the above note.  "Thank you, Sela, that is very kind of you," I replied, "and I am sure Carys is sorry, too."

Carys continued to cry for the next 10 – 15 minutes, including while we drove to the production site. Early on Sebastian asked what was wrong and Carys retorted, “NONE of your business.” When it came time for dessert all the kids had icelollies there was not a peep out of Carys. No tears, no complaining.

What do you think? Was I too mean? Would you have handled it differently?

History or current events?

Yesterday we went for a drive after church. I actually intended for us to stop at Shek-O beach for lunch and a play on the beach - something spontaneous and different for a change but the beach was so packed the police barricaded the roads. Instead we had a leisurely drive around the island. Tess took the opportunity to ask the kids what types of holidays they'd like during the next year. Did they want a beach and adventure holiday with elephants, pools, water slides and jungles OR, did they want a big city holiday with million year old dinosaurs in museums, movies on gigantic screens, castles and dungeons and scares? We just had friends who spent the summer in London and had a great time. London, England was offered up as a possible destination. (Being from Canada I have to specify England else our Toronto friends and family will have mismanaged expectations.) After Tess and I discussed possible vacation destinations with the kids they were silent for a bit when suddenly Jasper exclaimed, "WE CAN'T GO TO LONDON BECAUSE THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND WILL CUT OUR HEADS OFF!"

With recent events in London we're uncertain if Jasper is refering to history or current events.

Above: Maureen and Jasper cuddle while at Fintry this past summer.

Jasper the Worship Leader

Friday morning I received a call at work from the Union Church head of Vacation Bible Study: Jane. I thought for sure something happened to one of the kids or they had done something very, very naughty. “JASPER,” I thought, “swimming in the baptismal pool again?”

"Everything is fine,” Jane reported reassuringly, "but I'm calling about Jasper..."

"I KNEW IT!" I thought to myself.

The kids had a fantastic time at VBS. I was surprised how much fun they had - they all wanted to go back at the end of each day. On Friday evening a VBS BBQ took place and I went with the kids. It was pure chaos, but all the kids - and most of the adults - were up singing and dancing. The evening ran late. We were pretty much the last to leave. Team Caldwell helped to clean-up enough that Jane gave the kids the VBS mascot: Crocky, an inflatable crocodile. (Pictured at left!)

Jasper had a fantastic time because he got to sing and everybody looooved Jasper's singing. Even Sebastian, Sela and Carys loved JJ's singing so much that they weren't jealous when Jane called to ask if Jasper would sing at the Sunday 11 AM service.

"That's okay with me," I explained, "as long as Jasper isn't dressed like a hobo."

On Saturday we downloaded the song Jasper needed to practise. (See YouTube version below.) I loaded it onto my ipod so we could sing it in the car. Jasper had a paper copy that he read to memorise the words. Sunday morning came. About 15 minutes into the service all the VBS kids headed to the front of the sanctuary. The final song the VBS kids sang was "God Is Always With Us". Jasper and one of the other older VBS team leaders led the song. All the kids were very enthusiastic - which was almost the best part: the kids were all excited to sing - but Jasper did an exceptional job. He has a wonderful singing voice - something we've known for a while but have never showcased. Today, once JJ worked out keeping the mike close enough to his mouth, he was absolutely superb. Hopefully this is the start of a great thing for Jasper... and those who get to hear him sing, of course.

And God will listen...

I have been meaning to share the following for almost two years. During this past summer I had a sense of a spiritual deepening, which reminded me of this story. The story happened around October 2009 when Sebastian (seven years old at the time) had a sleep over at a friend's home. He and this friend were good buddies and shared some common beliefs about God. The morning after the sleep over, Sebastian his friend and friend's mother were out for a walk and picnic when the following incident happened, as recounted by the mother in an email to Tess.

During the picnic a group of boys walked past the three picnickers. The boys were new to the area where Seb's friend lived and were "a little bit rough" in their demeanor and presence. As a result Sebastian's friend was a bit frightened by the boys and didn't feel secure with them around. The mother described the boys as having foul language such as, "Hey you! You are psycho or what?" They used the F word regularly and a tone the mom described as "certainly not a tone we use in our house." Sebastian's friend was a little scared and wanted to go home.
 
But then Sebastian said to his friend...

"<Name>, you are God's son and you don´t have to follow or listen. Just do what you know is right and then the good can be good and the bad can be bad and God will listen."
 
A beam of happiness shone on their picnic and all three relaxed.

Above: Sebastian at Fintry this past summer. Thanks, Mandy, for the great picture!