The Searchlight of Insight

Someone's come undone

I am so, so tired. Months ago, when writing about my exhaustion, I didn't think it possible to become more tired. I was wrong. I am so tired, and life is so nutty right now, that I am becoming severed from my reality. I feel dislodged from all my anchors. It's just weird, and I am tired.

It's Saturday night, the kids are finally in bed... what a bunch of nasty little critters WE had today. Let's see... hmmmm... the highlights...

1. Last night before going to bed Sebastian asked me to wake him up before I went to bed so he could do a wee wee because, "I had soooo much to drink." (He drank a lot of water between dinner and bedtime.) I forgot to do that. Turns out he didn't wee the bed, but he did wake up at 6:25 AM to do a wee wee and wake-up the world... triplets, me... half the building. (But not Tess.) I was sooo, sooo tired that just after breakfast when Tess awoke she sent me to bed for a nap.
2. Halfway through that nap someone - I think it was Seb - announced a poopers on the kitchen floor. I shot out of bed to discover Jasper had whipped off his PJs to plant a big one on the kitchen floor. As calm as possible very firm words - not yelling - were had with JJ. I could see the adrenalin coursing through his eyeballs as he reverted to tears. We made him scoop it up with tissue and plop the offending matter in the toilet. Then together he and I cleaned the floor and mopped it, too.
3. Somewhere in the middle of all this a seriously stinky load wafted through the air. Carys! The payload in her nappy was soooo nasty, it started a case of nappy rash. Tess and I were stunned. Tess looked down, "THAT wasn't there 12 hours ago." Remorseful Carys said, "thank you, Daddy" after I changed her diaper (as she always does.) I'm telling you, Carys is pure lady with manners but wow, she has toilet issues.
4. I don't know about Tess because we've hardly had a moment to talk today, but I was sooo tired this morning that nothing happened according to plan. Ideally, Tess would have had a lazy morning sleeping and recovering, while I took the kids to Bowen Road for a run on the trike. That never happened. Tess got up and we plotted taking the kids out to lunch somewhere different. That never happened. Time slipped by and toddlers continued to either demand time or burn through toys (read: throw toys everywhere) while we tried to get our world organized. No such luck. Finally I said to Tess, "let's start by getting them all in the car." That worked, and finally Tess said, "let's just go to the ABC for lunch." This was a major concession for Tess - I love the place because it reminds me so much of sailing as a kid and I just love the whole thing - but Tess tires of it... same menu, same environment, blah blah blah. But a terrific compromise was to order something competely different for the kids... NOOOOO chicken nuggets, instead they had sweet and sour pork, Singapore noodles and fried rice. They did okay despite the nasty and beligerant behavior throughout. (And Sela loved Tess' chicken tikka as always.)
5. Naptime... what nap? We arrived home to discover more poopers in nappies that we reacted to with various degrees of concocted poker faces. We warned the triplets that failing to nap - or any form of partying in their bedroom - would be met with confiscation of all bed toys. (Note Tess' blog about what the kids love to take to bed.) One hour later none of the trips had any bed toys and Sela & Carys weren't even wearing their Grobags. ARGH! The party continued until Sela & Carys stripped off their PJs and nappies. I stood above them in shock with every molecule inside me summoning a poker face.
6. Playground nasties... with no nap to keep their moods buoyant, the afternoon quickly digressed. In the playground JJ had multiple time-outs for various infractions, although he did impress me with his ability to drive the four seater trike. Sela was a basket case... any little thing set her off and she easily spent 50%+ of the time crying. (We were on the playground for almost two hours.) Carys was remarkably calm. Sebastian was all over the map. When it came time to go home, Tess was talking to a good friend of ours, Mark, so she stayed for an extra few minutes. Carys felt she needed to accompany mom and stayed, too. This sent Sela into orbit, and she spent the next 435 minutes screaming her head off (okay ~ it was only 45 minutes but I think you get the point.)
7. Dinner was on the edge but we got through it. Sebastian proudly shared his leftover ham and cheese panini from Friday night but the trips were not interested (other than Carys who will eat anything but we later had to check to make sure the thing wasn't stored in her chipmunk cheeks.) The moment the trips throttled back on eating... "oh, all done??? Don't want anymore... well then bedtime for you!!!" They went from nasty to sleep in above four seconds.
8. Despite the usual cautionary comments about being a bit bossy etc, Sebastian generally stayed clear of the trips' trouble throughout the day. He's had better days but came in for a very pleasant landing while Tess read him a book, and I talked to him about his first dental visit in a few weeks while helping him brush his teeth. He was asleep in about ten minutes.

I stop to look back at the last 12 hours and think, "what the heck was that?" Tomorrow De & Lita will be back on deck since I fly off to the US in the afternoon. I am on my second rum & coke. In a few minutes I am going to self medicate with prescription drugs found - without a prescription - in none other than India that I guarantee you will help me get the ten hours sleep I so desperately need. You don't like that idea...? Go ahead, spank me. I dare ya.

Back on the road (trike video, too)

I am tapping this out on my Blackberry while flying from Hong Kong to Shanghai. I've been fortunate with a travel hiatus the last five weeks - that's changing. Here is what the next few months look like... today flying to Shanghai then on to Beijing on Tuesday, back to HK on Wednesday. In HK four days then fly to US for six days. Arrive back Sat morning. Spend Sat/Sun/Mon in HK then fly to Australia (Sydney then Gold Coast) for the week, returning Nov 3. I am then in HK for eight days, after which I go on a whirlwind ten day trip across Asia with our CEO, starting Nov 12: HK -> Mumbai -> Bangalore -> Bangkok -> Tokyo -> Sydney -> Melbourne -> arriving back in HK on Nov 21. 

Wait there's more... after 11 days in HK I head back out for the first week in December, return for five days, then do a quick trip to India from Dec 12 to Dec 17. That's it for three weeks until I do a ten day trip to Orlando, Florida the middle of January 2007.

Whooosh... knowing this impending travel, and the energy required sustaining the pace, my body has been winding itself up in preparation. Not unlike the whine of a jet or helicopter engine starting up from "off" to a full blown roar of "let's take-off!" My back tensing up has been a side effect of this wind-up. I finally had to get a massage on Saturday night. I feel better today but am still very tired.

The weekend was a little more hectic with Tess rightfully being cautious post-surgery. I'll write later about our weekend. I have some very funny stories to re-count. Meanwhile, I will tell you that on weekends we often take the kids to Bowen Road on the four-seater Kettler trike. (The BMW of tricycles... a gorgeous piece of German engineering!) Obviously not this past weekend, but a few weeks ago we put together the video below to demonstrate this rather hilarious exercise routine.

By the way, Action Asia magazine recently ran a contest asking people to write in ten words or less how they maintain an active lifestyle. I wrote, "I run Bowen Road with four kids on a trike!" I didn't win first prize (two round trip tickets to New Zealand) but I DID win one of the runner-up prizes: a pair of MBT shoes valued at over HK$ 2500! (US$ 310 or C$ 360.) I've wanted a pair of these state-of-the-art shoes for a long, long time, too. Wooohooo!

To reward those who have read this far... here's the Bowen Road video! Please take a moment to rate the video and leave a comment. Thanks!

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Tess busted out

I picked Sebastian up from school at noon today (with his lunch in hand) and we went to the hospital to see Tess. That's when I discovered that this morning the doctor granted Tess permission to go home, provided she goes home and "pretends" she is still in the hospital. Hmmm... I am not sure how that will work but it's still a great thing that Tess is back at home.  I am sure she will be blogging in no time and thanks to all the visitors who dropped by while she was out of communication. I am now back at work.

Errr... just about to push the publish button when Tess called... Sebastian was so excited to have Tess at home that he went into the bedroom to loudly announce her arrival to sleeping triplets. Chaos has once again arrived to our home! Aiya!

Meanwhile, we have a real live picture of the procedure taken with a mini-camera while inside Tess' abdomen. Looks just like it does on the Discovery channel. I can't post it without Tess' permission but if you yell loud enough you might just get to see it. It's pretty cool.

Tess is okay

A quick note before dashing off to sleep... Tess' procedure took place today without incident. About fifteen minutes after returning to the Canossa I was sitting in Tess' room when Dr. Chan called from the OR to say everything went according to plan. He had literally just finished and called me - amazing... that's not something I expect from your average doctor. He told me he was still in his surgical gown and would join me in Tess' room once cleaned up.

About ten minutes later Dr. Chan arrived in Tess' room. He explained that everything was uneventful and Tess was recovering in the OR. After chatting for a few minutes he left and as he opened the door Tess was wheeled in on a stretcher. After settling her back in her bed she pretty much slept from noon until 7 PM, waking every few minutes to talk or drink some water. Tess is a very resilient person with a much higher pain threshold than her DH (blush!) and did very well post-op.

Normally, we would have prayed prior to her going into the OR but everything happened just too quickly for that to happen. (Lesson from Jesus: be more planful with your praying.) Tess told me afterwards that as she lay on the OR table about to go under she looked over to see a sign posted on the wall, "Hand all your burdens over to God, for He is with you now." (That's about when I was sitting in Tess' room praying and was awash with peace.) A few minutes later the anaesthetist, leaning over Tess' arm, said to her, "I'm just going to give you a little gin and tonic..." and Tess was out like a light.

I spent the day in Tess' hospital room getting caught-up on e-mails and finally left at 7:45. Just before leaving a nurse came rushing in to ask in excited Chinglish, "We R sending specimen to lab for testing need permission, want to see, OKAY?" Huh? Wait... Tess turned her head away as I asked, "Is that the fibroid?"

"Yes, the specimen," the nurse replied a little calmer but still excited.

To make a long story, the nurse and I disappeared into the private bathroom to look at the fibroid and I even took a picture. I know, gross, but eventually either Tess, Sebastian, Jasper, Sela or Carys will ask what a fibroid looks like and as their husband/father, I need to be ready with an answer. Observation reveals: a chopped up, cooked but pink italian sausage... and wow, yes it was huge. About the size of a large Fuji apple. Okay... TMI, I'll stop now.

Amazingly, as I was leaving, Stephanie came to visit so Tess was not alone upon my departure. I am totally bagged and now heading off to sleep.

By the way, if you have not yet seen the video of Sebastian below, please take a moment to check it out!

Tess @ The Canossa

Hong Kong never ceases to amaze me! I accompanied Tess this morning to the Canossa Hospital - to remove the pesky tennis ball from her tummy - and everything started happening like clockwork. We arrived about 7:10 AM and were processed at Admitting in less than ten minutes. A nurse waited nearby who escorted us upstairs. As we stepped off the elevator another nurse was waiting for us, greeted us and took us to Tess' room. (Pictured here!) The room has a fridge, TV, DVD player (4 - 5 English channels) and free Internet access. (But, I cannot promise that Tess will blog from the hospital.) After settling in for 20 minutes a nurse came in to start the paperwork, check the vitals and answer any questions. Another 20 minutes later Dr. Joe Chan came in for a visit. His wife, Dr. Cora Ngai, delivered the triplets and was part of the QMH NIC Chic Team! Cora and Joe went into private practise together about a year ago... I cannot say enough about how wonderful they are and Joe's bedside manner is one of the best I have seen in Hong Kong. But his manner is an unusual manner - charming in an understated and humble way.

Some funny comments:

One of the nurses said, "Okay please get into the hospital smock now... you'll like it, it's VERY sexy!" (Said with an enthusiastic tone but the nurse knew full well she was fibbing!)

Tess, remembering back to being stoned from the "twilight anesthesia" days said, "I am sure by late this afternoon I'll be feeling fine and cracking jokes." Dr. Chan replied dryly, "Nooooo... I don't think you're going to feel very well for the rest of today. Maybe tomorrow you'll feel okay."

Tess said to Dr. Chan, "You look so young and you and Cora make such a great couple." Dr. Chan replied with a blush, "I might look young but I am not that young... and to be honest it's a curse. Everyone wants an old looking doctor who they think has more experience!"

After Dr. Chan left Tess looked at me and asked, "I like him so much... can we keep him?"

True to the clock, at 8:50 am Tess was wheeled out of her room and down the hall. I expected we would have to wind our way through the hospital to the OR but bang... it was right there in front of us within twenty paces. I hardly had a chance to say good-bye to Tess at all but I knew she was in good hands. She's expected to be out of the OR by 11:30 - noon. Knowing Hong Kong, they will be true to their word so I am going to head back to the hospital asap. Stay tuned for details.

The einsteins I made at school

Saturday night in Hong Kong and we have had quite the day. Some friends of ours invited us out on their extremely large, modern (and beautiful) Chinese junk. We took the entire gang, starting from 11:30 AM and returning to the dock at 7 PM. Overall we had an incredible and wonderful time, but it was also a huge amount of work managing four toddlers on a 60 foot yacht. Carys was still under the weather, but we felt well enough that she'd be okay. She slept much of the time, but required either Tess or myself attending to her for the entire trip. This meant the other half had three kids to juggle. The other adults and older kids were very helpful so the whole trip worked out in the end. Not only did a we have a yacht voyage, we also had a romp on the beach, a tube ride and several high speed boat rides as others were tubing. I took lots of video and pictures that I'll post in the next few days.

In the meantime, two weeks ago Sebastian came home with one of the most hilarious art projects we'd ever seen... the human digestive track. Don't believe me? Have a look at the video and Sebastian will show you himself... make sure your speakers are turned up and please leave Seb a You Tube rating. He worked hard to provide a clear, concise explanation of his Einstein project.

What's in your hand?

In July after returning to Hong Kong from Canada, I had the opportunity to meet Rick Warren, author of the book “The Purpose Driven Life.” Gail Hudson, Editorial Reviewer at Amazon.com, described as follows: The spiritual premise in The Purpose-Driven Life is that there are no accidents---God planned everything and everyone. Therefore, every human has a divine purpose, according to God's master plan. Like a twist on John F. Kennedy's famous inaugural address, this book could be summed up like this: "So my fellow Christians, ask not what God can do for your life plan, ask what your life can do for God's plan." The book is about purposeful devotion to a Christian God. The book is set up to be a 40-day immersion plan, recognizing that the Bible favors the number 40 as a "spiritually significant time," according to author Rick Warren, the founding pastor of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California, touted as one of the United States largest congregations. Warren's hope is that readers will "interact" with the 40 chapters, reading them one day at a time, with extensive underlining and writing in the margins. As an inspirational manifesto for creating a more worshipful, church-driven life, this book delivers. Every page is laden with references to scripture or dogma.... This is probably an excellent resource for devout Christians who crave a jumpstart back to worshipfulness.

On Friday, July 21st, roughly 80 Hong Kong business people met at the posh Hong Kong Club to have dinner with Rick Warren and hear him speak. The setting was intimate and ideal for a restorative discussion. The Rick Warren team was excited. The dinner – and their trip to Hong Kong in general – coincided with the completion of The Purpose Driven Life’s translation into simplified Chinese text, and a full endorsement of the book by mainland China officials. In other words, you can now legally buy this book in China. One of the Saddleback team sat at each table, and I had the good fortune of sitting next to Dave Arnold, one of Rick Warren's top leaders who helps him run the business side of Saddleback. We had a fascinating discussion about many things, but one of them was Christianity in China. Watch this space!

For the one hour that Rick Warren spoke he focused on Affluence. His message was very clear… business people are given three things – but not necessarily limited to three – by God: Income, Influence and Identity.

Warren gave a brief scriptural exegesis on a passage from Exodus, where God asks Moses: “What’s that in your hand?” Moses, holding a staff throws it on the ground. Once on the ground and out of Moses’ hand, God turns the staff into a serpent and then back again into a staff when picked up by Moses. The staff, Warren tells us, signifies Moses’s identity, income and influence. When Moses lays it down, God makes it come alive, makes the impossible possible. When Moses keeps the staff to himself, nothing happens.

The staff represents Moses’ income – how he makes his living. His money is not wrapped up in a bank account or gold coins but in his flock. The staff represents Moses’ influence – how he gets things done and helps, protects others. In this case sheep – moving them from one place to another. The staff represents Moses’ identity – who he is in the world and how he relates to himself.

God said to Moses, “I want you to lay down your identity, your income and your influence. If you do, I will make it come alive in a miraculous way. If you pick it back up, it will be a dirty stick.” After this, it is referred to as the Rod of God. It is this rod that parts the sea, makes water come out of the rock, turns the river to blood. The staff had power when laid down – God made it come alive and did miracles that Moses never dreamed of.

Rick Warren challenged business people to ask themselves the same question, “What’s in your hand and what will you do with it? What is your identity, your influence, your income? Will you lay it down?”

I left with several copies of The Purpose Driven Life, written in Cantonese, in my hand… I gave them all away to people who I felt would benefit from reading the book. (I have my own English copies!) As I walked back to my office to pick up my car I snapped some pics of affluent Hong Kong and contemplated Rick Warren’s comments. For me it's what is in my head… a book waiting to be written and given away that perhaps could cause miracles beyond my wildest dreams.
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No sure way? Yeah, right...

I agree, this is a complex problem with may elements coming into play. However it seems to me that the first obvious step would be better gun control. Also, while it may or may not be true to say Canada has more guns per capita, that is a bit of a statistical manipulation for those who promote the Canadian statistic in the US' favour.

In the crosshairs

Last night I had a fairly sound sleep, interrupted by a very disturbing dream right before waking. The dream took place in the future, during a time of considerable global strife. A group of us had been on a church outting to some island. We were returning to be dropped off at a dock and return to our respective homes. Like dreams we were in Hong Kong but weren't in Hong Kong... we could have been anywhere and the setting was more like Canada... in fact Toronto.

Next to the dock - somewhat like a large commercial dock - was a small building. Next to this building was a large grass parking lot about the size of a soccer field. On the other side of field was a second building, similar to an old, large cottage clubhouse. It was two stories high with a veranda on the 2nd floor. To exit the parking lot one had to drive around this building. It was a cloudy, overcast fall day and about 5 pm. I was alone with the group from church... I.e. the kids and Tess were not with me.

As we came around the right side side of the building by the dock we looked across the parking lot to see military personnel on the other side. Everyone stopped in their tracks. We had no idea who they were, but thanks to the global situation, we knew exactly who they were. I was at the back of the crowd - maybe 30 of us - surveying the situation. In the distance I could see snipers on the verandas. I was shocked by the size of their guns, "Wow," I thought, "those are seriously high powered sniping rifles." At that point none of us suspected any violence, but as a precaution I said to those around me, "They have snipers on the 2nd floor. Move out of the line of sight of the snipers."

Several people listened to me and we crouched behind cars. But about twenty didn't. They assumed the situation would not end in violence. Then the first shot rang out.

A friend about eight meters in front of us fell to the ground. We all stared at him, waiting to see what would happen next. For some reason I knew he'd been shot in the stomach. Adrenalin coursed through my veins as I thought, "Oh my gosh, this is real." Then the blood started to flow from underneath him. It was much like the first sniper incident in Saving Private Ryan... there was little we could do for this person... in a minute or two he'd be dead.

Several other shots rang out as others near the front of our group fell. Those near the back helped each other retreat. Now, you know the way dreams work - everything morphs. As we turned around, what was previously a small building by the dock turned into a very large clubhouse. We ran inside to seek cover. The situation was quite surreal. The military controlled the entire area, including the clubhouse, but as long as we were hidden inside we were safe.

Numerous people attempted to leave and never made it. Others made the mistake of venturing near windows to be met by the fate of a sniper's bullet. When that happened other military personnel ran in, cleaned up the mess and removed the body. But for those of us remaining in the building, they never came after us. They even walked BY us... but would not hurt us.

I stayed at the back of the building to stay safe and eventually there were only a handful of us left... in fact, of the four or five of us remaining... I was the only lay person. All the others were pastors. Despite that, they all related to me as if I was a pastor. We all knew that eventually we had to leave that building, or that eventually we'd be flushed out. But in the meantime we waited. At one point someone asked me, "Why are you still in here, Charles. This - i.e. the terror, suspense, etc. - could all be over for you in a moment?"

"I am just here to think," I replied, "I am just here... to... think." Everyone seemed to understand exactly what I meant as we sat there in the darkness thinking and thinking and thinking. I remember thinking I was in a terrible dead end situation - perhaps literally - and feeling there was no way I could escape the physical inevitability ahead of me. It truly was a horrible predicament.

As I waited I awoke and Sebastian asked if I could make waffles.

What do you think this dream meant?
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